The Celebration of Christian Marriage
at
Trinity United Church
The moderator of the United Church of Canada, Rev. Peter Short writes this about marriage.
“Marriage lays a foundation, constructs a framework, and builds a house for love. Since constant perfect love is impossible (that's another story) marriage provides a structure, a habit of being together, a promise of faithfulness to carry us through those times when we know we must act with love but do not feel like loving. Eventually the house becomes a home, the wedding becomes a marriage, and the relationship becomes a habit of the heart.
Marriage functions the way any good habit or discipline functions. It helps us hang on through short-term ambiguity on the way to long-term freedom. The ambiguity is in the conflict between feeling and commitment. The freedom is in knowing there's a place to stand beneath the ambiguity - common ground. Common ground is not the same as having things in common, but you find that out in time.
Because it is a habit of the heart, marriage should be hard to get out of - and into. Marriage is not casual, just as any good house is not casually built. That's what the old tradition of an engagement is about. It's a probationary period. In most jurisdictions, you can't get a licence and be married on the spot. The law requires that you afford yourself sufficient time to consider and reconsider.
Thus, marriage is not a spontaneous relationship, but a formal one. This is why a couple plans a wedding carefully and sets the wedding in significant traditions of people, place, clothing, and language. The marriage is constituted by promises given and its will to survive is sustained by a dependence on grace, that gift beyond explanation. It is not temporary. Not casual. Not for convenience.
We fail to take marriage seriously when we think of it as the private "experience" of two people. It's more than an experience. Marriage is an event that holds a couple from within and from without. The “within” part has to do with the love and commitment the couple generates. The “without” part has to do with society's investment in marriage as a carrier of stable relationships, social cohesion, and shared values.
The Christian tradition to which I belong has called marriage an "estate." This estate is a reality into which two individuals enter. In the act of marriage, they leave one estate and pass into another estate. Taking this passage changes both of them. It is a transformation they enter willingly and knowingly (well, at least they know in part). They are transformed from individual artists into a collaborative work of art. It is a transformation that is much too perilous an undertaking for those who are concentrating only on having their needs fulfilled. It is also a transformation that can never be fully realized if the depth, strength, and mystery of marriage are defined exclusively in the language of human rights.
The estate itself is not perfect (not to mention its occupants). Divorce happens. It hurts. Life must be reoriented. People must find a way to love again. For all its good and humble powers, marriage cannot banish the alienation that haunts the human condition. Marriage is, nonetheless, a good house that shelters the imperfect human's quest to persevere in love.”
With this understanding of marriage it is our hope that those seeking to be married in the building that houses
We would encourage those seeking a place for their wedding to explore the community of Trinity United. Share in our worship life, engage with us in study, receive and give support in Christian kinship.
FIRST ENCOUNTERS is an initial study for those seeking a basic understanding of the Christian faith as experienced by the
THE WEDDING SERVICE
The service itself would be planned with the minister to reflect, as much as possible, your understanding of marriage and God. A planning guide including multiple choice selections for each part of the service is available to assist in creating a memorable ceremony.
MUSIC
Since the marriage service is an instance of the corporate worship of God, the music should express the Christian’s understanding of life. The organist will meet with each couple to discuss all music for the wedding, and to assist them in choosing music. The Church’s organist is expected to play at all weddings and should be contacted at least one month before the ceremony
REHEARSAL
A rehearsal lasting about 30 minutes usually takes place on the evening prior to the service. The minister will be conducting the rehearsal and will acquaint all concerned with the service. Encourage all participants to be in attendance at the scheduled time of the rehearsal. Needed are the bridal party, the ushers, and the parents.
PHOTOGRAPHS
Because the wedding is a service of worship, it is important that care be taken and decorum maintained by photographers during the service. We ask that the following be observed:
a. A video camera may be used during the ceremony provided it is stationary and inconspicuously placed. Additional light may not be used.
b. Pictures by friends and family are permitted only before and after the wedding ceremony.
c. One photographer (professional or otherwise) may take a few pictures during the ceremony with the following conditions:
i. Pictures must be taken discreetly; any photography should be from a stationary camera and must not disrupt or distract from the service.
ii. No flashes or power winders may be used after the wedding party enters the Sanctuary. Timed exposures may be taken from the rear of the Sanctuary.
d. A photographer may join the wedding party in the Narthex after the recessional for the signing of the register.
e. The wedding party may return to the sanctuary for a brief period after the wedding service if further pictures are desired. The couple should consider the advantage of taking pictures well before the wedding service begins and the guests arrive.
FLOWERS AND PEW MARKERS
Flowers should be brought to the church at least 30 minutes before the wedding. They should be clearly marked with the last names of the bride and groom. Please ask the florist not to use scented spray on artificial flowers. If candelabras are used they are to be placed so they will not hide the Communion Table. Check with the minister as to appropriate places for both flowers and candles. If pew markers are used they must be easily attached without damaging the pew ends.
NO CONFETTI, RICE OR BIRD SEED
No confetti or rice or bird seed may be used in the church building or outside on the church property.
REGISTRATION REQUIREMENTS
You are required to obtain a Marriage License from a Registry Office, listed in the yellow pages under “License and Registry Service”. The Marriage License is valid for three (3) months from date of purchase. The Government of Alberta charges a fee for the marriage license. The wedding cannot be performed unless the license is in the possession of the officiating minister.
OFFICIAL MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
For your records, a Certificate of Marriage will be given to you by the minister after the ceremony. Please note that this certificate is NOT a legal document. The legal certified copy of your Marriage Registration is obtainable from the private registry offices for a fee. The application form will be given to you when you apply for your Marriage License.
Costs for the wedding service are:
$600 which includes honorarium for the clergy, musician, and caretaker.
If you are interested in being married here, Please contact
Rev. Kathy Hogman
780-489-0860
